Author Archive for coreysans

23
Mar
08

from gummy bear to Adia

After 9+ grueling months, little Adia Glo Santistevan is here! She was born at 12:43am on the 2oth, weighing in at 7lbs 12oz. At 12:3o on the 19th, i came home for lunch to find out that Amanda’s water had lost it’s job,ran out of money, and was broke. 1:3o the contractions came rushing in like crazy jackals into Wal-mart right after thanksgiving. I tried to slow the contractions down, ”Welcome to Wal-Mart can I help..” my greeting was interrupted by the mob of contractions.

We got to Good Samaritan Hospital at around 2:3o in the afternoon and was taken to labor and delivery. 1o hours later, just as the smooth talking epidural was wearing off, the baby was here.
The scene was amazing! Though there was blood pouring all over the place, it was such a beautiful experience . Watching the birth and to see your child for the very first time exiting the womb is such an awesome sight and fills
your heart with a feeling it’s never felt before. Iwould not have missed seeing my beautiful daughter for anything, well if Jesus was in town…hopefully He’d understand. Something was definitely confirmed during the labor. My wife is truly remarkable. The way she handled the low blows from the Wal-Mart mob was like Beatrix Kiddo fighting
off the crazy 88 in Kill Bill. She got some cuts, but took on the pain and kept fighting. I have no idea how painful those contractions were but it must have sounded like an exorcism was going on in the room. Amanda, Bunny, I admire you so much you did such a wonderful job and I am so proud of you. I look forward to raising this beautiful little ‘gift from God ( the meaning of Adia) with you. Take a few moments and check out the pics in the slide show below. I look forward to many
adventurous stories that parenting has to offer. Blessings to you all.


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19
Jan
08

Sorry about that Mister

chilislogo1.jpgA pretty funny thing was said to me last night while at dinner with my wife. I’m sure the person who said it was just trying to be polite but it made me think. Now I consider myself a young guy still. I do realize that once I reach thirty I won’t be able to say that with much confidence but I’m only 24, 25 in a week. We found ourselves driving up to Morgan Hill to dine at the new Chili’s. We got good service last time, the food seemed fresher than the one in our neck of the woods, and it is also cleaner. Chili’s Almaden pick up your game!I ordered a Cajun Chicken Sandwich, the same thing I got last time we were there. I’m not going to try to sell you on this sandwich because honestly it’s O.K. nothing really tot special it’s good though. We ate chips and salsa and drank soda pop as we waited for our meals. Of course talking and of course some looking at our cell phones ignoring the fact that we’ re with another human being, you know like everyone else does. Then finally “Chicken Quesadillas.” The waiter placed the plate in front of my wife. “Cajun Chicken Pasta.” I looked at the plate with horror. That’s not a sandwich I thought to myself. If I hadent filled my vessel with Root Beer and chips I believe I would have blown up. Not like get mad “blow up” like “blow up” blow up like a bomb. I could wait another 10-15 to get what I ordered or settle for the pasta. NEVER! Settling is for the weak!

The waiter took the plate away after I told her that’s not what I ordered. She apologized and took away the platter of Chicken Pasta the Settler’s meal. Our waitress was a young lass problably not much older than 16. Figured I would paint her image a bit clearer =) She returned to our table and apologized serveral times for the mix up. When one of the guys in the ties and dress shirt visits your table and squats in front of it, you know you’re getting something taken off your bill. Which in this case was the “Gosh Dang Quesadillas!” because they were greasy.

To wrap up this novel, they brought my plate out at record breaking speed. I don’t even think I could have made a bag of popcorn faster. Before I could take a bite our waiter returned to make sure it looked good. I smiled as my mouth began to water for the first bite. As she walked away she said, “I’m really sorry about that Mister.”

Mister….MISTER! Who still calls another human being MISTER. There’s Sir, I would have flown with that but Mister! I guess you could say Mr. but Mister looks funnier. There is Mr.Bean, Mr. Mom, Mr. T, Mr. Clean now Mister Corey. All of those guys are old. Has time not been good to me? Do I look old? What will I look like when I’m really old? Like 70, will people think I’m a corpse? I’m going to Denny’s now to take advantage of my Sr. Discount.

Well this concludes this blog, Mister Corey signing off.

13
Nov
07

Give me a $100 and I’ll tell you what it is

It has been nearly 3 months since my last post under the “Pregnant See” topic. Mine and Amanda’s baby has grown from a gummi bear to the size of a carrot. Pretty big jump huh? I don’t know why I keep using food.

My wife has been having some very difficult days. Nausea and stomach pains fun stuff huh? She’s been hanging in there though.

Today we had an appointment to determine the sex of the baby at Dr. Chu’s House of Horrors. I have been holding on to thinking the baby is gonna be a girl, Amanda a boy. The doctor that ran the ultra sound machine was not our normal doctor. Dr. Chu did make an appearance however. This new doctor we’ll call him Gunther. Gunther stood about 6 ft. Very light facial hair, kind of like the backside of a peach. We later found out that was as thick as his hair got. I ended up getting the title of this blog from Gunther. He found the sex out with a breeze. He kept trying to get money from us in exchange for the sex of our child. We eventually gave in. I pulled out my wallet and $300 later we got the news. First, what do you think it is? GREAT GUESS!!! How did you know? Just to let you know, I was correct in my guessing. Call it a father’s intuition. Check out the picture below. She’s looking dead on at the waves of the ultrasound.

baby.jpg

04
Nov
07

The Jungle Book

Manda and I have two really great cats…. Currently they are hitting a box or something making a bunch of noise while me lass is trying to sleep. Shut up out there! Anyways we bought The Jungle Book tonight because I have never seen it. Great movie. The comical pieces in that movie are classic. The story line is cool too but the humor had me. During the movie Eddie and Charlie were mesmerized like they were in Kaa’s trance. Check out the pics. Thanks Rockst*r for the slide show idea.


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04
Nov
07

Pants on fire and hanging from a telephone wire?

polygraph-copy.jpgThis weblog will cover my latest adventure through the hiring process of the SFPD. I found myself running behind schedule as I slowly wound down the on ramp to Highway 85 at 6:55 A.M. I leaped out of bed only 10 minutes prior to making myself onto the Highway. How in the world did I sleep in an hour and forty-two minutes over I thought grasping the leather-plastic steering wheel of “thugvoo” my trusty Honda Accord. After a stressing myself out telling myself over and over “you’re not gonna make it on time” my lovely wife was able to calm me down. “Corey, it’s in God’s hands. Now stop whining, I’m going back to bed.” Before I knew it I was racing down 101. “By this time traffic should be a beast but it’s not. No time to think DRIVE!” My mind yelled. I got down Burlingame with enough time to get to my destination. Crap! I missed the exit. The last sign I saw “Blah blah Road 1 mile” Next sign “Road after Blah blah Road 3/4 mile” Why didn’t my exit say “Blah blah Road!” All it said was “Exit.” Exit what? HELL? Yes I am definitely feeling like I am there at this point, you know besides hearing people moaning in pain as AC/DC’s “Hells Bells” plays over the loud speaker. How would speakers get to Hell?

Nearly forgetting about crying my eyes out almost an hour earlier, the elevator opens me out into the 4th floor. It’s a quite place, only the sound of “Hells Bells” plays in my head. There is a woman sitting in a chair in the Lobby. I decide to make a left down a long stinky hall. Every door I pass reminds me of the previous one. The dark wood doors are all missing signs that tell me what’s on the other side. I reach the end. “Dang Blast it, where is Suite 400?” I turn around and follow the path where I came. I approach the woman in the Lobby,”Excuse me Madam, do you know where I may find Suite 400?” She looks at me almost expressionless. “I’m rolling thunder, pouring rain, I’m coming on like a hurricane,” releases out of her month. She then pauses for a moment and smiles, “We’re in Suite 400.” She looks down dismissing me and continues to read what juicy gossip Brittney’s assistant reveals to US Weekly. A few moments pass before another person comes out of the elevator. She walks down the same hall I was just wandering down. She returns not too long after. “Do you guys know where Suite 400 is?” What an idiot right?

The clock strikes about 8:10 before a pair of folks come walking off the elevator. “You guys here for the polygraph?” The male asks. The lady that walked down the empty hallway and I nod our heads. “If you’re into evil, you’re a friend of mine,” he says with a crazed look on his face. He looks at the woman he came up the elevator with,”You take Usher I’ll take her.” The female examiner we’ll call her Zuul, leads me to one of the dark wood doors we walk in.

The door slams shut behind us. There’s several chairs in the room. A desk, laptops just real basic stuff. Nothing fancy like Dr. Chu’s office. “Are you the key master?” Zuul asks. I reply like any other human being would. “Are you the gatekeeper?” We begin the interview.

There is a pre-test interview that is conducted before the actual polygraph it self. This gives Gozer a chance to know it’s potential host. This was actually the longest part of the whole thing. I was asked to recall dates of things that happened years ago. Things that I had forgotten came surfacing in my mind. Honestly, I just told the truth about everything. Back to the story…

After Zuul had all the information she needed she brought out the Nimbus 2000. This was the infamous polygraph machine that I had seen in countless movies. She explained some instructions that I had quickly forgotten. I mean this was the Nimbus 2000 right in front of my eyes. Before I knew it I was hooked up to the machine. For a moment I felt like thousands of volts were going to come racing through my body and I would soon be known as Frankenstein. The test began.

From the moment the sound of the gun my heart was racing. I was able to feel every beat in my chest and up my throat. Zuul’s voice was very calm. A weird pain began to wreak havoc on the back of my neck. My left arm began to twitch mimicking the 4/4 rhythm of “Hells Bells”. I began to see the questions floating around in front of me like the Windows Toaster screen saver. They, the questions, began to lunge at my esophagus hoping to choke me up. They swung lead pipes at my knees hoping to end my gazelle-like strides over the misty ice rink.

The test ended. “Mr. Santa Clause, you passed, you are now free to go,” Zuul said to me, “I’ll walk you to the door.” I rode the elevator back down to the 1st floor. The sun rays hit my face felt like this scorching hot laptop on my lap. I think my flesh may have melted. I immediately hopped on my phone to call Amanda to tell her the great news. I got her voice mail so I shared the news to Jesus instead.

If you actually made it to the end of this blog thank you! Just wanted to try writing a little bit different. This blog hit 958 words!

27
Oct
07

Kids with guns!

This past week I had the pleasure of bustin’ some caps with my good o’ friend Brett Barker at Reed’s Indoor Range in Santa Clara. It was half of a pretty penny but great fun.

Not only is Reed’s the largest indoor range in the bay area but they have a nice selection of rental guns. I’ve had my eye set on a nice little lady, the Glock 22. I’ve went online, read about it, got some prices but never had the chance to give the trigger some love. As I glazed down in the display case of rentals, there she was the Glock 22. The greatest part was I could have her for only $10! I dropped her in the red grocery store like basket and headed towards Lane 9.

Brett and I unloaded about 100 rounds each. Shooting blood thirsty zombies as they ran towards us. My first target had a good amount of wounds around the chest and abdomen. Several in the head too, brain damage is the best way of defeating them. One stray shot landed on my target’s left ear what a deathly blow! We dedicated our second target to our last 10 shots. Take a look at the target below. Not too bad. There are actually only 9 shots on the target. Anyone seen Brett lately? target.jpgat-reeds.jpg

18
Oct
07

I’m not asking you to lie but…..

200px-sfpd.pngI received a text message from my good ol’ pal Tracy LoVerde today. The text read” I got ur cop paper work today. Don’t worry corey I won’t tell them ur a drugie!” Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I’m a drugie but… No I’m just kidding Inspector Zanardi.

Sure enough, these questionnaire were popping up like hot cakes! “If Corey were an animal which animal would he be and why?” “If Corey were to posses one super human ability/power which would it be? I like monkeys. They have cool acrobatics very agile. I would definetely go with invincibility. I could punch then disappear then deliver a deathly round house flipping kick. Pretty cool huh?

I won’t reveal the questions that were really on the form. Of course I’m curious to what people are going to put. So I have actually offered $5 to everyone that will show me their questionnaire and allow me to make necessary changes. Also a joke Inspector Zanardi.

Well that concludes the 1st episode of….Opps didn’t make a category for this topic yet. One will soon arrive.

15
Oct
07

Direct like a Rockst*r

So what do you do when you got a video camera, a great software to test out, and a great beard? Well if you’re anything like Justin “Rockst*r” Richter, you make a movie. So he gets those two guys from “Genocide”, Corey Santistevan and Giovanni LoVerde and does a short tragedy/action film.

“Ashes of the Iron Dragon” tells a gripping story of revenge with a sweet aroma of butt kicking action courtesy of Capcom Inc. What will two men do to gain the ultimate prize? Watch and you will see.

15
Oct
07

Corey stop! Your mouth is bleeding!

Tonight we had a wonderful youth night at Calvary Chapel Gilroy. The night appeared to be over until I made the crucial mistake of motioning a “lock-up” with one of the youth group kids. No it wasn’t the kid with the 3 arms or the one that was sleeping during service. This was non-other then Aaron Gonzalez also know as GONZAGA! Not quite sure where the name came from but I soon feel prey to his vicious maneuvers.

Now if you’ve got sometime Google Aaron Gonzalez. You’ll find him. The 1st page I came across was on the Gilroy Dispatch website. Aaron’s quote,”Ew. I sure hope that’s beer,” after seeing some suspicious yellow fluid. He was apart of the trash crew at the Garlic Festival. The 2nd link took me to what I was looking for. The site, GilroyWrestling.Com.   “Last year, Gonzalez was one match from placing at state.”

The 103 lbs. GONZAGA! Gave me a great workout. Should I have dominated the match? Yes absolutely  but did I lose, I don’t believe so.

The experience opened my eyes to something. I need to train harder then I have been. If all goes well, I’ll be entering the Academy in January. If I was out in the field, would I be embarrassed if I got out maneuvered by a 13 year old ? You bet your bottom dollar! So now, I will climb up buildings and smash them to oblivion!

GONZAGA!

12
Oct
07

Choose a side or be left in Standard Definition

Yesterday I decided to make a purchase. No not a fish tank. It was the very affordable HD DVD drive for my Xbox 360. Please note it comes with King Kong in HD! I had been debating whether or not to buy it for a few reasons but broke down yesterday after service last night. I think something in Pastor Matt’s sermon regarding Satan drove me to do it. If Amanda wanted my head on a platter because of my decision, I could blame it on the devil she already hates him. So while I was at the greatest place on earth Best Buy, I bought a few other things, the Roots mini-series Happy Birthday Mom and the Corpse Bride which is in HD.

Now HD DVDs VS. Blu-Ray. Which one is better? You can get a player in either format for between $500-600. Of course you can go out and get a 360 or PS3 with the same capabilities to play Hi Def movies plus play great games for about the same. What is the purpose of High Def one may ask. Now who really cares about the textures on the walls while watching Ultra Violet or nipples on the Bat Suit. Well I guess you don’t need HD for that one. Now I may be stabbed for this but I can’t even really tell the difference between Standard and this new generation of HD and Blu-Ray movies, but then again, I also don’t have perfect vision.

So is it gonna suck next year if Blu-Ray takes over and I’m stuck with a little white box next to my 360 that plays the extinct HD DVDs? Yes of course. I’m sure people were betting their hard earned money on Sony’s Betamax over the VHS back in the 80’s. What’s Betamax? In the 90’s, Sony worked on a new media format, the Multimedia Compact Disc or MMCD. Later they abandoned the idea for what is now DVD. Will Blu-Ray share the same gruesome fate as Betamax or the MMCD? If it is the future, guess I’m trading in the 360.