For weeks now my mind has been juggling a few things. The one I’ve been spending the the most time thinking about is my wife being pregnant. Is she, isn’t she. Yeah sure she took 3 tests that turned out positive but there’s a chance they could be wrong, right? Apparently these Error Proof Tests are “Over 99% Accurate”. Wow over 99%! So these things have a less than 1% chance of being wrong. Can a company really guarantee their product this well? Now that I’ve convinced you that EPT is such a great product, go buy a box!
So Monday we walk into Dr. Chu’s office. She’s a woman doctor. She’s a doctor that looks at woman things. We are here to meet with her. The Pepto-Pink walls of Dr. Chu’s examination room brings a calmness to my nervousness. Various tools lay about the medical counter. Most of them look like props used in the movie Saw or things used to interrogate Jack Bauer. Dr. Chu enters the room.
Between this paragraph and the last, the interrogator I mean Dr. Chu has my wife chained to a bed and we’re looking at a staticky little T.V. “There is your uterus and that blinking thing is the baby’s heart.” I see it on the screen! It’s a, it’s a… gummi bear?
I still can’t believe I’m going to be a father. Poor child has no idea what it’s coming into.
